Anger

It is very disappointing to have given in to anger, which in retrospect could easily have been averted by withdrawing from the scene and allowing it to be dealt with by professionals hired for the purpose. Or the police

After such progress in taming unwanted emotions and achieving a most satisfying equanimity, something (or rather somebody) slipped through a chink in my armor and I landed flat on my back.

There is no defense – there is no excuse for allowing temper to get the better of me and I very much hope that it will not happen again. Must try harder.

Unfortunately, a friend of mine was threatened by an unpleasant bully with whom she has had considerable trouble for a number of years. I went to her assistance as the bully threatened to “get her out” of her home and told her that she and all her family were mentally ill.

The bully is an ill educated and illiterate fat thug who has upset many, many people over the decades with his inflated ego and determination to win at all costs, however petty the dispute.

He bullied and threatened the office girls at a credit card company who would not bend to his wishes. Or rather could not give in to his unreasonable demands. He asked them “Do you know who I am?” Despite the fact he is a small man, he has a greatly inflated sense of his own value.

Tradespeople learn not to deal with him on account of his arrogance and rudeness. He refuses to pay in full for goods and services he has ordered and consumed – he makes spurious claims that they were defective in some way and thus cheats tradespeople out of their dues.

He appears to have no understanding of the rule of law and it is difficult to tell whether it is just his dullard’s wits and ignorance which are at fault, or whether he deliberately chooses not to understand, so as to win another of his innumerable petty swindles.

If this fellow can do someone down who is standing in his way, he goes for it. As with all bullies, when confronted he is eventually forced to back down but only at the cost of much unpleasantness.

In any event, mea culpa. I am deeply saddened to have been caught so badly off guard and next time will suggest getting the due agents of law enforcement involved.

The correct course of action is to call for help from people whose job it is to deal with such matters and who do not get emotionally involved, since they have no personal knowledge of or attachment to the parties.

12 Comments

  1. I’m reminded of Isaiah, or was it Ezekial, who is purported to have set wild bears on the young townsmen harassing him on the open road … very satisfying but not very helpful … (LOL).

    In my unprocessed days I enjoyed the momentous surge of adrenalin my anger brought with it.
    Anger is a tool of the ego. It’s so very powerful. It’s as impossible to control as stomach trembling, heart thumpingly falling in love, I’ve found. It’s a primitive human appendage of defence, ego, or self agrandisement like the other emotional attributes of being human. In my experience I loathed it so fiercely in myself I wonder if inadvertently triggered it being refined out of my existence along with the other negative attributes MER dissolves in you whether you want it to or not?

    I have never given my anger further thought until now, on reading of your experience. I can’t even remember when it went. If my experience of these subtle changes in ourselves when on the Path is anything to go by, you have nothing to worry about. Could this be just the last writhing of the ‘demon’ of anger in you that’s part of the process of your metamorphosis? From your stirring reaction of remorse I’d say, yes!

    Regards, as ever,
    Keith.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are quite right in all that you say and I really very much appreciate your response. Thank heavens I no longer enjoy the rush of adrenaline – indeed I dread it as I dread any upset or conflict. You are so right – anger is primitive undignified nonsense. I so very, very very rarely suffer anger these days thank heavens but when I do I feel bad about it for days. It upsets me that I was “got the better of”.

      But you know I feel you are so very correct in your assessment – it is a last vestige, a last writhing in the process of shucking off all involvement in “normal” human matters.

      Your comments and support mean much to me.
      A

      Like

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