Credo

Too often have I pronounced upon that in which I do not believe.

Better by far to renounce negativity and to declare instead that in which I do believe.

I was told over the weekend that I am a believer by someone who has been kind enough to read much of what I have written over the past few years and who knows that I have often struggled with impenetrable blackness.

We were talking more probably of belief in meditation, rather than faith in general. And yet for me meditation is an inextricable part of the route towards meaning. It always has been but of late I have been more diligent in my practice.

I have been puzzled by the trend towards Mc Mindfulness in our secular age. It may “work” for some, yet I find its emptiness an arid detraction from what for me is without doubt a search of more serious intent.

The truth is that I have always been a mystic. Somebody in search of the face of god, reality or meaning. I have never been one to follow anybody’s path but my own, and most of those with more conventional faith may well question my beliefs and practices. And yet if they read me correctly, they will see that our paths are not so different. Nor our core credence. In uno deum may not be for me, but for those who really look, the paths of mystics east and west are identical, as are their objects and goals.

And so, Credo. But in what?

Well firstly I have come to believe in the efficacy of meditation to heal both body and mind.

My long time guru John Butler uses such techniques on his own behalf and that of clients to undergo surgical operations without the use of anesthetics. He expresses a conviction that the mind governs the body in a far more powerful fashion than most believe. And hence can procure much of what is needed in a physiological and indeed spiritual sense to secure and comfort both mind and body.

I have never seen meditation as a mere tool for medical use, but rather as a guiding light to navigate through doubt and darkness and to arrive at a state of gnosis.

How grand this sounds (pompous perhaps) but as always I use language in a poetic and metaphorical sense to convey my meaning. Perhaps because a bald and more prosaic description can not get across the strength of my feelings or indeed what it is that I do feel, that I do believe. Language can be a poor tool to describe the indescribable but try one must – it is the tool we have at our disposal to convey inner thoughts and meanings which are not readily susceptible to an exactitude of words.

I know that there will be some who read this post and will strongly disagree with most of what I believe, but to such people I would say these are my beliefs and they can not in any sense be said therefore to be wrong. For me, for my own subjective reality. Yes, you may not share them or indeed like them. Your reality may take on a different hue to mine or you may be a materialist who denies any possibility at all of a god or of meaning or purpose in this universe.

I can respect all such views, honestly held. And would expect therefor that people should respect mine. I have no desire to argue. Equally I have no desire whatsoever to persuade or convert or proselytize.

I believe that god is within. Or, if you so choose, reality, Brahmin, nirvana, call it what you will. I believe with utmost conviction that those who seek quietly within themselves, whatever their race, colour or creed, come to a somewhat similar conclusion. Or at least such people would not take objection to my own feelings on the matter.

I do not need to read or consult books of learning or faith. Time spent in quiet repose gives me such answers as I need. Other of course will have different needs, other requirements. They will have strong conviction in revelation, in an external force who gives tablets of stone or dictates books of law to his prophets and disciples. But at heart they are unlikely to come up with answers so very different to my own.

What is it that I discover within? Above all that there is meaning, a goal and that we should head towards it.

De Chardin’s Omega Point. Frank Tipler’s if you prefer a less ornate version.

And that despite the views of the materialists, there is right and wrong – at least so far as sentient beings are concerned. We think, we feel, we are. Consciousness has emerged (never mind where from) and it is a nonsense to deny its reality. Whatever it may turn out to be.

So there you have it. I believe. I may struggle to live up to my beliefs (are there any who do not?). I may not serve the poor or give comfort to the oppressed, but I stand in admiration and support of those who do. I believe that I know the difference between right and wrong and as far as I am able I will try to head towards the former and away from the latter.

Credo.

I believe there is meaning.

Illustration: The Song of Los, copy C, object 5 by William Blake