Tag: Reading

  • Are you what you read?

    Are you what you read?

    The modern trope would have it that you are what you eat, but the metaphor needs taking further.

    It may be that such phrases need turning round the other way. Perhaps we eat what we eat because we are the way we are.

    I think I read what I read because of my character, my preferences and prejudices, my weltanschauung, if you will.

    And yet sometimes what I read deeply affects what I am. Or what I feel at least. I am not talking about strong or destructive emotions but gentler, more thoughtful modes of being.

    I suppose actually I am talking about two sides of the same coin. Our character tends to be reflected in what we do, eat, think, say and read. But equally we receive flow back and re-reinforcement from those external influences and need to guard against intrusion by destructive forces.

    I was reading a chapter of Surface Detail yesterday, one of the Culture series by Iain M Banks. All of his books deserve multiple re-reading but I think it was only the second time I have read this one.

    Chay is rescued from a high tech Hell (a simulated reality to deter bad behavior) and becomes a nun or devotee in a convent of sorts on a mesa in the middle of a desert. The convent and mesa also exist in a simulated reality but for all we know our own “reality” is simulated anyway.

    She is not a believer in the deity she is required to worship and yet becomes soothed and healed by the daily routines she must pursue.

    The nuns copy manuscripts in a foreign language word by word into blank books and illustrate them in the manner of early Christians. These are traded for food and necessities with travelling merchants who come to the foot of the mesa each year.

    Other than that, the daily devotions involve singing. Lots of it. Despite her disbelief, the beauty and mesmeric quality of her life, and the melody and rhythm of the chants she must sing, heal Chay. She eventually becomes Abbess and dies, to be made into an angel with the power to rescue souls from Hell.

    Devotees will know that Banks was an atheist and yet here is this sublime chapter in a science fiction novel which soothes and heals not only Chay but the reader. I was with Chay in that lonely beautiful outpost on the edge of god knows where. I felt her daily life and the mesmerism of it. I was deeply attracted by its beauty and simplicity.

    So did this chapter seek me out? Or did I seek out this chapter? Or a bit of both perhaps?

    I think what my experience does tell me is the way I would like to lead my life. Can lead my life, I suppose.

    The trick is to surrender to beauty, to rhythm, to routine, beauty and music. If you are one of the fortunate few able to escape from the hell that is the world. Perhaps that is what a medieval religious was doing: escaping from ugly brutality.

    Is this cheating? Is it running away? Do I care? Should I?

  • La Belle Dame Sans Merci – John Keats – a Reading

    La Belle Dame Sans Merci – John Keats – a Reading

    She sits wrapped in furs on an ancient Celtic floor, chanting her soft ballads and staring at smoke from a peat fire curling softly up and round and out of the roof. She has lived many lives and known many names; no doubt she will live many more. She is the Lady of the Green Kirtle, Queen of the Deep Realm, she is Lamia. She lures men to their death.

    The wind howls outside, along the sea loch and the birds cry their mournful song. She is wronged, mis-portrayed, misunderstood by generations. No Siren she but mere mortal, demonized by hapless storytellers who know no better.

    She is Eve, cast out of the Garden of Eden, she is the cause of all our suffering. No noble savages, we seek to blame womankind, when blind evolution alone has done us wrong.

    Our Circe, our witches, our magical world view are as present now as ever they were. They lull and caress us, inspire and guide us, if not literally then in the imagination of our hearts. To be human is to imagine. To imagine defines us, renews us.

    The poem tells a beautiful and ancient story, and what is our life but a story? Perhaps we live but a story after all.

    It is cold and dark and winter:

    “The sedge has withered from the lake, And no birds sing.”

    The knight is “haggard and so woe-begone.”

    The Belle Dame is

    “a faery’s child, Her hair was long, her foot was light,And her eyes were wild”.

    But her love, it seems, was nothing but

    ” A faery’s song”,sung “to pale kings and princes too, Pale warriors, death-pale were they all”.

    And in the end the Belle Dame was just a dream, like life itself.

    “And I awoke and found me here,

    On the cold hill’s side”

    Wrapped in the beauty of myth ancient and modern we create our own truth, we bring meaning to a universe some say is dark and cold and without purpose. Sometimes sad and sometimes not, our stories and our poems, our Green Ladies and our Belles Dames are reflections of our desires and anxieties.

    We are the stories we tell about ourselves. We are our myth in all its richness and beauty. In the world of our imagination there need be no ugliness, and without our imagination we would have no fire, no wheat to harvest, no wheel.

    Heaven and Hell are creatures of our own making. We have imagined them and it is in our power to create in our own lives a “heaven” or a “hell”. May more of us choose the former over the latter and “nirvana” can be here and now.

  • A reading: Sonnet 18, Shakespeare

    A reading: Sonnet 18, Shakespeare

    I have already written a few words on this, most famous of Shakespeare’s Sonnets and have just placed my own reading on Youtube. If you were to ask me why I bother, I would have to reply, simply, that it gives me great pleasure. While none may care to hear me, I have nevertheless read, and that, for me, is the only excuse I need.

    And yes, I chose to illustrate my reading with a beautiful woman, even though I know the poet wrote to a young man.

  • If….by Rudyard Kipling

    If….by Rudyard Kipling

    I commented on this late 19th Century masterpiece in “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs…”  and now add a reading which I have put on YouTube.
    https://youtu.be/-HNiUMy4e68

  • John Keats – Ode To Autumn – a Reading

    John Keats – Ode To Autumn – a Reading

    I have already written a few words about Ode to Autumn but felt minded to record my own reading of it.

    Forgive the sheer vanity but it just felt something I needed to do.  I have never been a luvvie, a Thespian. God forbid.

    Professional luvvies can be bad enough but amateurs are almost inevitably excruciating.  I hope therefore that my (almost) non-existent readers will forgive this strange departure.

    Partly, I did it because it was fun.  Partly because my wife has a fantasy that I might be a budding podcast star. I don’t think she realizes you have to be female, with Botox and big tits to achieve that. And apparently if you want to appeal to the Afro Americans you need to be both female and a clone of one or other Kardashian (Kim?) with a huge bum.

    Anyway, onward. I bought a retro microphone called Blue Snowball Ice and set out to inflict my painful drivel on an unsuspecting public.

    I used excellent free audio recording software called Audacity and spent, what, six or seven hours fiddling around with it trying to make myself sound less of an aged old fart than I actually am.

    I am amazed and mortified at how old I sound – I don’t feel it. But that is what they all say!