Tag: Letting Go

  • Letting Go

    Letting Go

    I sat at my exclusive and expensive London club and exuded hypocrisy. 

    I wondered whether I was small and insignificant enough to pass through the eye of a needle. 

    It certainly felt that way, surrounded as I was by such haughty “elegance”, such excess, such a grandiose paeon to mammon.

    A vulgar corporate event was in progress; “bizniss” people and their highly decorated (and decorative) womenfolk watched tennis.  Gorging themselves on hospitality  provided by the purveyors of overpriced and  foolish consumer goods.

    Easy enough to talk about, letting go. And it can’t really be done unless you can pass through the eye of a needle.

    So probably something the folk watching the tennis might find unacceptable.  And unnecessary.

    But essential for anyone seeking true peace in an unforgiving world.

    In reality how achievable is it?

    Here I am in a first world nation.  No war, no natural disasters.  I am relatively well off, reasonably healthy; with a couple of roofs over my head and food on the table.

    But I have not found it easy to let go. Of worry, of fear.  Insecurity for the future, guilt for the past.  Can I keep the lights on or will I end up sleeping rough on the streets of a pitiless nation.

    Would somebody living below the breadline in a shanty town in some godforsaken African hellhole manage to let go?

    I really don’t know the answer, although I suspect that those of a constitution and determination much stronger than my own, may manage to achieve equanimity living under even the most brutal conditions.

    Dietrich Bonhoeffer comes to mind.

    I cannot feel guilt for my own materially comfortable situation. Nor should I – what good would it do?  And if I did feel guilt, the modest material benefits I have been lucky enough to secure have been counter balanced by a lifetime of endless and debilitating depression. Well, you can’t have it all I guess.

    My purpose however is neither to wallow in self pity, nor to decry (yet again) the piteous nature of the human condition.

    This is a tale of success, a story of finding a path out of terror, even if the way is a narrow, slippery footpath cut across a sheer cliff face .  A misstep, a badly executed footfall and the rocks below are only too ready to receive this wary and fatigued traveller.

    It has been a long, slow and difficult journey but the light has begun to glimmer at the end of my tiring, dark trek through the tunnel of Hades.

    I choose to share my journey not out of any sense of pride or achievement, but to let people know that maybe it can be done.  That I have at long last managed to more or less let go, without holding onto the sides.

    Whether my luck lasts, whether I get dragged back into the merciless Stygian gloom, who can tell.  But my state of mind has lasted quite a while now, and I am keeping my fingers resolutely crossed.

    I am not a religious soul and yet I have found much wisdom in some of the world’s better traditions.

    It’s all much of a muchness when you cut through the outdated beliefs and fanciful stories, and look instead at the practical proposals as to how we humans should live together. And treat each other.

    Sharing, kindness and decency covers much of what we should aim for and as I gaze over at the bloated capitalists and their large cars, I think how much better our world would be without such greed and surfeit.

    Equally importantly, I find a gentle humour in it.

    Dust to dust, ashes to ashes.  How trivial is such excess, when in a short time we will be gone.

    And while we are here, real wealth is to be found in our own minds and the appreciation of the glories and mystery of existence, not in the collection of baubles or in dominion over the weak.

    True wealth is peace, a quiet mind. A blue sky, the beauty of birds and beasts.  Waves beating on a golden beach, blinding white snow on a high mountain pass.

    Conversation with a learned old Sikh, listening to his sacred music, while he sells you computer equipment in his shop on Putney High Street.  Sitting in a cafe in the sun on some remote Greek island, sipping coffee while old men play chess and ancient women dressed in black brush their doorsteps.

    True wealth is the acceptance of what we are, not striving to become something that we are not. True peace is to enjoy the natural world, not destroy it.  To reject struggle and greed, to live for the day, to exist without conflict or hatred or jealousy.

    A warmth has come to me recently, a mellowness. A giving up, a snuffing out, a reconciliation. Above all an abiding peace which continues until and unless I make the mistake of getting sucked back into what most of us call life.

    Although I’m getting better and wiser at avoiding such “life”.  Avoiding disputes, avoiding stress and grasping. 

    Perhaps some of it is age. The end of the world as I have known it beckons, and I realise that I am only now managing to appreciate my existence and to live life as it should be lived.

    Better late than never. 

    I have always known how to live well but have only rather recently succeeded in doing so.

    As a child I lived in Narnia (in my mind anyway) and Middle Earth.  As a young adult I spent time with Candide in his garden and sang psalms with Bede at Monkwearmouth – Jarrow.

    Would that I had stayed there, but good that I have now returned, after years spent in a sterile wilderness.

    Good to believe in compassion and empathy, in the beauty and mystery of the universe.

    How little importance should we ascribe to the doings of men. How foolish are our wants, our ambitions, our empty vanities.

    Only with an acceptance of our ephemeral nature, our impermanence and unimportance is it possible to truly let go.

    To accept that our lives are little different to that of the sparrow in the Saxon hall brings a calm, a deep quiet to my soul.  A giving up of the struggle, a giving in to the inevitability of my eventual demise.

    The present life of man, O king, seems to me, in comparison of that time which is unknown to us, like to the swift flight of a sparrow through the room wherein you sit at supper in winter, with your commanders and ministers, and a good fire in the midst, whilst the storms of rain and snow prevail abroad; the sparrow, whilst he is within, is safe from the wintry storm; but after a short space of fair weather, he immediately vanishes out of your sight, into the dark winter from which he had emerged. So this life of man appears for a short space, but of what went before, or what is to follow, we are utterly ignorant. If, therefore, this new doctrine contains something more certain, it seems justly to deserve to be followed. (Ecclesiastical History of the English People, Book 2, Chapter 13)

  • To be Free

    To be Free

    Release from the shackles of a mind made prison, sought for so many years and yet so recently achieved.

    The bars of the cage dissolve, as illusory as once they seemed so real.

    Watching a kestrel hover above a marshy field, its every feather vibrant in the wintry sun, quivering in the strong breeze.

    Swooping for its not so lucky prey but that too seems the way of the world.

    A pair of buzzards wheel and shreik above, chased by angry crows.

    A snow white egret lands the other side of the reedy stream, a leggy grey heron languorously swoops above the treetops.

    This is life, this am I too. Part of what is all around me. An animal, a relative (and not so very distant) of all that I see on this and every other day in the quiet countryside of a little green island.

    Would that I had witnessed this pleasant land a hundred or a thousand years ago.

    Even now there is enough beauty left to mock and ridicule the small conceits and irrelevant concerns of a species which has long lost its way. Or has it? Perhaps we were never designed to see through the deceptions which bind us.

    How quietly amusing it all seems from a distance. Of what consequence the concerns of man, viewed from a point where eternity stretches to infinity across time and space.

    Rustling leaves, the gentle murmuring of the wind. A trickling brook, the far off roar of the sea.

    Shelter, enough to eat and a medicine man. What else required to live in peace and harmony with a planet still beautiful enough to be worth saving.

    But if the machinations of the naked ape finally destroy all I see around me, then that too must be. For what point resisting the tide, fighting and struggling unaware billions who look still for unachievable, illusory goals.

    Did they but know it, less is more. Could they but see it, yearning serves only to whet an appetite.

    War and conquest, physical or sublimated through the world of commerce. Dominance, the need to defeat and to rule. To humiliate and subjugate.

    No peace to be found in such unrest. Do their restless souls not see that only quiet will ever satisfy. That all else serves only to foster greater craving, that all such yearning is never sated.

    Is that awakening? The abandonment of more. Bearing witness to the circuitous treadmill and stepping off it.

    Emptying the mind, unlearning the destructive habits of an unwise and poorly led life.

    Who will awaken or wants to. How many will turn their thoughts inward and ask whether they have understood. How few will change their ways.

    Some perhaps. Who knows, one day a trickle may become a stream. One day may greed and violence lose their potency. One day may we realize the purposelessness of lives led in the pursuit of the unachievable.

    In the meantime, does any of it truly matter. Do good and bad exist or are they just a matter of perspective. Accept all and nothing will disappoint.

    But keep out of their way, if you can. Ask them to leave ambition on the doorstep when they come to visit. Ignore the quest for more and shrug at any assumption of superiority.

    Peace may be achieved by remaining small and invisible. Not getting trampled under foot by a thundering herd seeking countries which will never be found.

    Race, colour, creed, gender. What an irrelevance. Class, pomp, snobbery, position. What thin gruel.

    And so a quiet evening after a day of revelation, if that does not sound too grand.

    Fingers spreading maladept over a keyboard. A little work on the latest eccentric algorithm which will likely be still born – the latest in a long line of dead pups.

    And Rachmaninov – lost in the glory of his Vespers. Russian liturgy, what solace.

    Getting there. Or somewhere. Nowhere to go, nothing to do. Released from the shackles of the mind, a modest awakening of sorts perhaps.

    A freedom which has come from letting go. Grasp nothing.

  • Fading

    Fading

    I had the curious sensation of fading, being absorbed into the background, while walking along a country lane in glorious winter sunshine this afternoon.

    Perhaps letting go does that to you. Perhaps the mental discipline of letting all pass returns you in a very real sense to where you came from.

    It seems that once you have stopped clinging so very fervently to the things which once seemed to attract you, moth-like to the flame, your mind is freed.

    I can not say that the sensation this afternoon was not accompanied by a gentle melancholy, but the feeling was not an unpleasant one.

    To every thing there is a season,
    A time for every purpose under the heaven.

    Letting go does seem to become easier with usage. It strikes me there is a likeness in methodology to renouncing an addiction. It’s all or nothing.

    I admit to having always been binary, but this time it is irreversible and I’m happy with that. It’s like Alcoholics Anonymous really: the addiction you are giving up is the world of emotion. Or rather the world of destructive emotions. And once you have admitted to it, you are in a sense free.

    Happily you do not seem to have to tip out the baby with the bathwater – pleasure remains. Quiet and hidden.

    Wife, son and such remaining family as I have buzz around me and I am contented to feel them nearby. Letting them happily fizz and fuss in a companionable sort of way. Letting them get on with their lives, and they mine.

    There are so many things I should have done today and didn’t. Nor will I, in all probability. It seemed a day rather for contemplation than busyness.

    No global gladiator, I have renounced the power breakfast for replenishing the bird feeder and watching the robin play.  I have left cocktail networking to others and potter through the odd domestic task I was entrusted with, as my busy little wife fidgeted off back to London.  In a rather nice new BMW to which I had treated myself, but which has now been wholly absorbed by my friend. Well, I don’t like driving anyway; she is welcome.

    I am reminded of the Ode to Autumn, this lazy winter’s day:

    Season of mist and mellow fruitfulness,

    Close bosom friend of the maturing sun.

    Lest that sound too valedictory a comparison, I must state otherwise. I am content to sit careless on a granary floor. Or on a half-reap’d furrow sound asleep, Drowsed with the fume of poppies.

    But there is still plenty to be done and having renounced life as you once knew it, it may be easier to take more beneficial pursuit. To see what is around you and who, and to give it and them the attention which they deserve.

    To walk in the winter’s sun while there is still breath in your body and a pair of legs able to carry you. To spread perhaps a little of your own newly discovered “gospel”.  To make the world a place of slightly less fear and slightly greater beauty.

    Why speak of autumn when mid winter is upon us? Because winter is not yet in my bones and while I may, I will feast still upon the ripe rose-hips, the last of the summer’s leaves and the still warm sun.

    Winter is for another day.

     

     

  • Letting go

    Letting go

    I hadn’t quite realized until very recently just how very damaging the human ego is.

    I have been letting go of late, just allowing things to pass me by. Not ignoring them, nor people.  Just not getting fussed about “stuff”.  It seems to add a whole new layer of serenity to life.

    Of course it may not last. I may get all busy again, and grumpy.  But while you are able to let go, you notice with gentle amusement just how much others don’t. Let go, that is.

    We had a vicar to stay the other night. One of our favorite guests and a man who has gained enormously over the years in wisdom. He was saying how fortunate I was to be able to let go and that given the choice, he would very much like to do the same. To retire, to go inwards, to preach occasionally in glorious chapels but not to have the daily struggle of a job.

    It has always puzzled me, the financial side of life. How do you let go as a busy stockbroker, let alone as coal miner.  Maybe the Dalai Lama can manage a busy life and retain inner peace but I don’t think I can.

    And so you are left with slight discomfort, guilt almost.

    I have always struggled with these beautiful words:

    Be not anxious for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than the food, and the body than the raiment? Behold the birds of the heaven, that they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns.

    It sounds so right, is so right and yet in the modern world seems so unachievable for “everyman”.  For the “Man on the Clapham Ominbus”.

    Well I have no answer to that, except to surmise some gifted souls are able to carry tranquility within wherever they go and whatever they do. Dietrich Bonhoeffer comes to mind.

    The fact of the matter is I am lucky hermit, with just enough to be able to close my door and my mind to much of the world.  And I have only just realized that.

    I was at a gathering the other day and was struck at its turbulence. Not House of Commons debate style but nonetheless surprisingly un-tranquil for what should have been an evening of serenity and peace.

    And it seemed to be the ego which was at fault.  There was no clear leader, or at least none the assembly was content to follow peacefully. The would be head was constantly challenged, her decisions questioned and debated. The majority stayed quiet (perhaps like me they were watching with wry humor) but one or two definitely knew better and were not afraid to say so.

    Perhaps that is why I so often find myself alone and in silence. It suits me thus.

    I do like people, I really do. But I find posturing so tiring these days. And so amusing in a fashion.

    And so I shall continue to let the world pass me by.  To resist getting drawn into debate or petty rivalry. To mind my own business and bury my head, if not in the sand, then at least somewhere very quiet and very private.

    There is so much in the world which simply does not matter. And there are so few things that do.

    I think deep down we all know what really matters; or would know if we were able to think about it. If we had the time and the inclination to develop a quiet awareness of what to keep and what to drop and then act on it, we might just find ourselves on the right side of the Wardrobe door.

    In any event I will carry on trying.

     

     

     

     

     

  • On Facing Daemons

    On Facing Daemons

    In days gone by, a daemon was a reality, a physical presence that could come and grab you and drag you down to to Dante’s Inferno or the Lake of Gehenna.

    As the Catholics might say:

    “Exi ergo, transgressor. Exi, seductor, plene omni dolo et fallacia, virtutis inimici, innocentium persecutor.”

    These days they probably use English:

    “Depart therefore, thou transgressor. Depart, thou seducer, totally filled with cunning and deceit, O thou enemy of virtue, thou persecutor of the innocent.”

    Most of us with a more modern mind recognize that the Daemon, while very real, is nonetheless from the internal rather than external landscape.

    Happily, I self diagnose myself as normal; while prone to pessimism and black moods, psychotic I am not, nor have I ever been.  Whether any sane physician would share my view, who knows, but it suffices for my purposes.

    I can not imagine what the prison of psychosis must be like, although Dante and Bosch give us a pretty good idea. Maybe a more modern setting would have us in the grip of aliens, in the brig of a spaceship in a far flung and evil empire. Who knows.

    But on the assumption you have control over your own mind (which happily most of us seem to) much can be done by facing fear head on.

    As my hero Franklin D. Roosevelt said in his inaugural address:

    So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is…fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

    Why today do I find myself contemplating daemons?

    Largely as a result of a return to the philosophy of the East, to the Tao in particular. Sparked perhaps by lunch with an elderly Japanese lady and a recent re-reading of the works of Alan Watts.  And Shintoism of course – all those wonderful spirits in woods and trees, in lakes and seas and rivers. How very Tolkien, how Narnian.

    To go with the flow, to face reality, to accept that to attempt to alter the Tao is futile and will lead to failure and self harm.

    To face daemons is to accept them as part of the landscape. To look them in the face. To face up to them as you must face a school bully. And when you do, those of us of reasonably sound mind find the fear disappears.

    Buddhism, the East – it is about acceptance of what is. It is about the illusion of self.  If we ourselves, our “ego”, are mere chimera, how then should we imagine daemons to be anything but a deception of the senses?

    And so after my usual rambling preamble, to the point.  If you can acquire the skill and discipline of letting go, letting pass, it all disappears, crumbles into the mist, ends like an Indonesian puppet theater.

    Your concerns are revealed as shadows cast by light on a curtain of cloth.  We are a physical process, little different conceptually to growing grass or the trees.  But arguably “cursed” with consciousness – an evolutionary sleight of hand to ensure survival.

    Yesterday I was visited by “daemons” as I partook of an ancient sacrament. With closed eyes, fearsome devils rushed towards me. Snakes appeared, many headed with fangs and hissing breath. Color exploded  and all of it daemonic. How so? My usual fare is Gothic arches and stained glass, quiet and ordered geometric pattern, the visual equivalent of transcendent and haunting Renaissance polyphony.

    Well it was just my day for something different.

    But faced with equanimity, with amusement even, these devils bothered me but little. A show of fireworks, beauty even. A part of my soul, my psyche. We are a flow of good and bad, beauty and ugliness. Well, I am anyway.

    If you see the Tao (or if you are a more modern and less prone to flights of fancy, physics perhaps) you can ride it. Shrug it off. See its beauty, yin and yang.

    Facing daemons is facing life in all its bizarre, unknowable and yet perhaps at heart simple flow.

    Well that’s my take anyway. I’ll vote for FDR any day.