Alfred’s Magic Mushrooms


Encouraged by much fanfare in the press surrounding research projects in the UK and USA, my good friend Alfred of Amsterdam has filled his garden shed with gro-bags laced with B+ Cubensis spores.

It’s all rather grubby really and Alfred’s fingers are closer in colour to black than green.  Alfred never had a youth and certainly never went through a hippy phase. Far too establishment for that, he kept the unwashed at bay for many years.

Alfred's Camper Van
Alfred’s Camper Van

Much to my surprise he took a recent and rash decision to delve into the seedy world of psychedelics, to pursue a cure for depression and to attempt to see the face of god. Or in his case an alternate reality, since he is a lifelong cynic and doesn’t “do” god-bothering.

Alfred remembers all too well the fuss surrounding such washouts as Omega 3 Fish Oil, St Johns Wort and indeed the useless Prozac. Huge profit for Eli Lilly & Company but not much relief for the depressed.  As for talking therapy….Don’t get him started on that.  He remembers some nutty old fool getting him to paint in a vain effort to tease out and repair Alfred’s ailing and tattered psyche.  His paintings were not a resounding success and nor was the therapy.

Alfred's Voice Tutor
Alfred’s Voice Tutor

Alfred has every expectation that the mushroom miracle cure will prove no more efficacious that a visit to Lourdes, but believes he is far more likely to see the Virgin Mary using magic mushrooms than by buying a train ticket to the South of France.

He’s an inquisitive fellow and seems determined to follow Huxley through the doors of perception. Those large bronze doors have remained firmly closed to Alfred despite years of meditation and  self hypnosis. Perhaps Alfred is hampered by lifelong cynicism; Norman Nirvana he is not.

In any event, Alfred has been through two tough months going cold turkey on SSRIs and has rarely felt more irritable and bad tempered. Not to mention dizzy, nauseous and confused. What is in those pills?

Alfred has promised to update me regularly when he starts his micro-dosing regime. He has become very aware of his own thoughts and moods over the years, very observant. So it will be interesting to see whether his home grown psychedelics provide him with any interesting insights into  the mind of god, or more likely, just give him nausea and jaundice.

The youth he never had
The youth he never had


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s